🔘How to survive defeat?🤔

[Pitonealal]

Losing in poker sucks. Sometimes it really hurts. Especially when you lose on the river with what felt like the nuts, and you were already counting the pot. In moments like that, it’s easy to fall apart — to blame the dealer, your opponent, or the whole universe. But the truth is, learning to handle loss is part of the game. And the sooner you accept that, the stronger you’ll become — both as a player and a person.

First, allow yourself to feel. Don’t pretend to be a robot who doesn’t care. Anger, frustration, disappointment — all normal. The key is not to take it out on others or make impulsive decisions at the table. Just take 10 minutes to breathe. Step outside, drink some water, unplug for a bit.

Second, don’t obsess over it. Poker is a long-term game. One bad beat, even a brutal one, doesn’t define your skill. Today luck wasn’t on your side — tomorrow you might triple up. The goal is to stay calm and let go of what you can’t control.

Third, review your hands. Not with a “how the hell did he call that garbage” mindset, but with a curious one: “Did I play this spot the best I could?” Sometimes you played it perfectly and just got unlucky. Other times, there’s room for improvement — and that’s okay.

There will always be losses in poker. But that’s what makes the wins feel so damn good. Just don’t lose faith in yourself. Respect the game, keep growing, and keep showing up. Because behind every downswing, there’s an upswing waiting — if you’re read
y for it.

 

[john_entony]

I'm not sure that “10 minutes to breathe” is going to help my stack in a tournament. But as the creator of this thread correctly said, bad beat is a part of the game. And we're all in equal conditions, really. If a player can't get over losing, then maybe that player needs to play something else.

 

[dannystanks]

Great article Pitonealal, very spot on!

 

[R.Holynskyi]

Losing in poker sucks. Sometimes it really hurts. Especially when you lose on the river with what felt like the nuts, and you were already counting the pot. In moments like that, it’s easy to fall apart — to blame the dealer, your opponent, or the whole universe. But the truth is, learning to handle loss is part of the game. And the sooner you accept that, the stronger you’ll become — both as a player and a person.

First, allow yourself to feel. Don’t pretend to be a robot who doesn’t care. Anger, frustration, disappointment — all normal. The key is not to take it out on others or make impulsive decisions at the table. Just take 10 minutes to breathe. Step outside, drink some water, unplug for a bit.

Second, don’t obsess over it. Poker is a long-term game. One bad beat, even a brutal one, doesn’t define your skill. Today luck wasn’t on your side — tomorrow you might triple up. The goal is to stay calm and let go of what you can’t control.

Third, review your hands. Not with a “how the hell did he call that garbage” mindset, but with a curious one: “Did I play this spot the best I could?” Sometimes you played it perfectly and just got unlucky. Other times, there’s room for improvement — and that’s okay.

There will always be losses in poker. But that’s what makes the wins feel so damn good. Just don’t lose faith in yourself. Respect the game, keep growing, and keep showing up. Because behind every downswing, there’s an upswing waiting — if you’re read
y for it.

I completely agree. That's the way it is. Defeats are not so scary if we adequately assess the situation, our own game and prospects in general. Those with high expectations will always experience stress and disappointment. But those who move towards their goals step by step, day by day, will feel their growth and progress. There are good and bad days in poker, but the most important thing is our attitude to the game during such periods.

 

[DiazPoker3101]

As long as you make the right decision, winning or losing doesn’t really matter. In this game, you shouldn’t be results-oriented — if you keep making good decisions, the results will come naturally.

 

[SpanRmonka]

I remember you said......Sometimes it lasts in poker......and sometimes it hurts instead

 

[valeski 28]

Good advices for all players,no matter their level.Patience is the key to success in this game.

 

[oriole]

Tilt is the real leak - acknowledge the pain, review hands cold, and trust the process; winners lose, but losers quit.

 

[wushibala]

Personally, I look back at my first two years of playing poker with a smile.
I remember how I used to react to all those bad beats — back then, I felt like everyone else was to blame.
But with time, that went away. You eventually realize it’s just part of the game.

 

[Manjerica1]

I like your post, sometimes I can't just deal with it... I'm very disciplined on do the things I need to do... But there's a gap I'm starting to know about myself.
Like, I play 99% tournaments, and I can't take 10 minutes if im on savage tilt mode, and I keep grinding even against my will. ( and it happens to spew all of other tables i was playing in, and my mood to keep playing.Sometimes I succed in keep my mind in place, but sometimes it's so many suckouts, that even buda couldn't handle.

I'm in this situation RN, I stoped my grind routine, because it wasn't beeing worth it. Started the grind happy and well to do as plan, but then 2 hours of grind things start to get crazy, a lot of bad runnouts in the sequence... I'm human, I have my weakness aswell.

So, i'm that point that " I have to play to be a winning player because I'm a winning player over a large sample (sharkscope oriented )
See some graphs to ilustrate... The first one, it's my overall graph only on party poker... playing very micro,

The second one it's still me playing micro, with I'm going to say 'downsing' over a 90 tournaments played...

Its not the first time, the second time I loose like 100, 200, tournaments without winning, but it's those one that I feel very sad about and it starts to inpact my game...

I was watching some content about dealing with it, and I learned a mantra ( thats not working yet ) " In 5 days I wont remember any of those hands i'm pissed of right now "

I hope by sharing this, I started to realize it's normal as you said and that will not be the last downswing... it's how you deal with it... I'm currently doing very bad and maybe I need 2 or 3 days off just studying not playing...

 

[CaioRJ]

Defeat is part of the game, there is no problem if you loss doing something right, in the long term you will be profitable, but, if you lose making bad decisions, you need study these bad decisions.

 

[martDdart]

The more you fail the more you learn and increase your skill.

 

[GrannySmit77]

I think it takes a lot of stamina and resilience to play poker. You win, you lose and win and lose again. You have to really enjoy playing and focus on improving your game. If you're too results oriented, you might not see any results for a long time, get disappointed and give up.

 

[istbno]

Surviving defeat in poker requires emotional control, perspective, and discipline. Accept variance as part of the game and avoid blaming luck or going on tilt. Take a short break to clear your mind, review your hands objectively, and learn from mistakes. Focus on long-term goals, not single sessions, and stick to proper bankroll management to reduce stress. Mental resilience and a growth mindset are key—treat losses as lessons rather than failures, and come back stronger for the next session.