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Message: [QUOTE="GreenDaddy1, post: 6084318, member: 337531"] Just feel so sickened. Half my account balance gone within hours and cant win to save my life and hours of grinding flushed. Second guessing everything. Making almost no money when i do have it, losing way too much when i dont. Just makes me sick that i could have not logged on and been so much better off. That same old story when the downswing hits, i cant handle it. Maybe the first 4-5 buy ins were bad luck, but the next 5 were just bloody bad play. Getting in too loose and then getting run over, calling off with second best like an idiot. Despairing when folding and seeing people showing up with junk i had beat, losing my mind when my AA and KK get folded to pre every time. Absolutely shattered and upset at myself for getting suckered in yet again. I find myself dealing with this sort of blow up every couple of months. Blew a $100 bankroll on Boxing Day after running bad and then just losing my mind. Two other times similar has happened this year. And now again today. One of two things happens when I hit this point, either I punt the rest off in anger or I just withdraw what is rest and lament that I don't have the mental game for the downswings, best I take the withdraw option today I think while I have regained momentary control. Building up from freerolls etc again and see how far i get before the next mental explosion. Sad but true. Just does my head in. Suppose it just shows how much control is needed to play well, and how easily we can slip into playing disgracefully, and how quickly the money disappears when we do. To spend so much time studying and playing to have it eclipsed through having such a poor response when things are going badly, just seems like a waste of time and energy. Wish I did not love the damn game so much and could let it go. These episodes destroy any faith I have in my ability to be a long term winner. Seriously if any decent cash game players have suffered through this sort of crap and come out the other side of it would love to hear how you did. I am no poker genius but minus these insane mental blow ups I have a decent win rate at micro stakes, it seems a shame to be giving most of it back on the off days. I have some ideas of the typical stuff I should be doing to have a better mental game, but I seem incapable of actioning any of it or having the discipline to follow through. [/QUOTE]

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