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Message: [QUOTE="StackThis, post: 6282710, member: 484063"] [B]"Lucky, The Donkey"[/B] [MEDIA=youtube]6VG41DrNjtU[/MEDIA] But that's a totally different story. This one's about a donkey who had just seent a new poker website in his area offer up to a $600 first deposit match. [URL]https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/379/719/281.png[/URL] And just like my estranged mother was when she f*kked that donkey down in Mexico, I got myself all torqued up on the "Goose And Bull." Or as Maurice Clarett would say, "I was getting my goose on." So I whipped out my credit card, one of the ones that I haven't whacked out and let go to collections over the past couple years as I descended into the dredges of drunkeness and all other sorts of debauchery. Then I proceed to deposit the $600.00 USD that is matched at the rate of $1 for every $2 you pay in rake of some $hit like that. [MEDIA=youtube]wltMwOCU_2A[/MEDIA] (Yeah, I said it, when I post glass breaks motherfu**er.) So then I proceed to plop my 224lb ass down at the highest stakes PLO table available, $1-$2 blinds, and it's a bunch of "GrInDerZ" smiling and glad handing one another as they all take turns 2x or 3x raising. The action is as boring as most of you are who are reading this sex lives. [MEDIA=youtube]HIcIIBTJA6o[/MEDIA] Yes I know, fukked up strategy, and it's going to be hard to play the hands post flop, but when I'm on 20mg of Adderall when it comes to hand reading I have [B]"X-Ray Vision."[/B] So anyway, I start popping off pot size raises the same way glorious Americans shoot their guns into the sky on July 4th. One hand of note goes like this... Goofball #1 min raises to $4, one caller, your hero, me, min raises, with really no other plan in mind but to rile these two goobers. The original raiser, Goofball #1 loses his mind and pots it to somewhere around $25. Goofball #2 folds, and your hero calls to play in position. We are holding Js10s9c7d and the flop comes down like a ton of lead and open hand smacks our hand in it's face. 8s 6s 5d. We are sitting with $200, there's around $60 in the pot, villain barrels "Pot." Turn card is meaningless, $180 in the pot now. Villain goes all in, we snap call. River spade. We still scoop because villain is holding AsAc92 offsuit. I type "LAWL" in the chat. (Always be sure to type "LAWL" in the chat. It is much more irritating and effective when it comes to riling the opposition than simply typing "LOL." Don't say I never taught you nothing. I better see someone with "LAWL" in their poker screenname become the next big online thing. Then give a shout out to "Stack This.") Goofball #1 then makes the mistake of engaging and telling me how awful I am. In return, I tell him the god's honest truth, that tonight is not going to be his night and he should cash out. I also admit that I'm a loser who washes dishes for a living. (And when a person that admits they are a loser in life, actually tells you that today or tonight is the time they're going to win, you better run for the hills my 2+2 poker forum friends.) Then this guy proceeds to compound his errors, lets his ego get involved, and soon after my $450 stack gets AAxx one suit, vs his AKxx one suit and we get it all in. We hold. I type "LAWLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!" in the chat. Villain quickly cashes out from the table and leaves. "Lucky", the luckiest dish washing donkey wins again!!! And that's exactly how I plan to win the "World Series of Poker" for all of you. Hold when we got the best of it. Suck out like Sasha Grey in her prime when we got the worst of it. Get your shares now with no MU my $hitposting friends. [MEDIA=youtube]6VG41DrNjtU[/MEDIA] [/QUOTE]

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