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Message: [QUOTE="Four Dogs, post: 349441, member: 2668"] [b][color=black]Please Help Analyzing This Hand[/color][/b] [color=black][/color] [i][color=black][size=3] Argh! This is what happens when freshman creative writing assignments go bad. OK I think we’ve got our work cut out for us before this is due. The problem as I see it is that it reads like a penthouse forum letter without the sex, and the story is about as bad as I’ve seen even on ESPN’s lameass series TILT. Still, there were a few things I liked about it even though it’s been done before. I liked the setting, the limp, the can of money in the back yard. All stock footage to be sure, but hard boiled pulp is nothing without a few dog eared cliché’s. Let’s see if we can at least make hamburger out of this road kill.[/size][/color][/i] [i][color=black][size=3] First of all we’re never going to pull this off as anything but pure hard boiled fiction. A genre which is at it’s best when gone over the top with flat characters and overused bromides [/size][/color][/i] [center][i][color=black][/color][/i][/center] [color=black][size=3] It was a dark and stormy night as I pulled into the back alley of a gin joint down 8 mile. I heard a fella by the name of Buckster was runnin’ a game and I was feebin’ for some action. I gave the place a good looking’ over before I stepped outta my 1967 Dodge Dart. A drunk passed out in a doorway, Tomcats rumagin’ through a dumpster, and used condoms and hypodermic needles strewn about like so many pebbles on a beach. At least this diabetic practiced safe sex.[/size][/color] [color=black][size=3][/size][/color] [color=black][size=3]I’d been travelling the highways and backroads of this country for 10 years; stoppin’ anywhere that a game of No Limit Hold 'em was being played. Of course I found myself playing in seedy alleyways, whore houses and crack dens as often as in the finest casinos in Vegas or AC. It was my guess that this place was gonna be the former. I made sure to leave the engine running just in case I had to make a quick exit. It wouldn’t be the first time. [/size][/color] [color=black][size=3][/size][/color] [color=black][size=3]I knocked on the door. Two slow raps followed by three raps in quick succession a pause and two more raps just like Willie Shylock said to. A small panel opened at eye level. “Whatta ya want?” [/size][/color] [color=black][size=3]“The three legged dog bays at midnight.”[/size][/color] [color=black][size=3]The door opened half way.[/size][/color] [color=black][size=3]“Ya packin’?”[/size][/color] [color=black][size=3]“Not tonight.” I says.[/size][/color] [color=black][size=3][/size][/color] [color=black][size=3]I looked around to see who I was playing against, and I must say that this was the first time I had ever been intimidated at the poker table. Staring back at me were nine of the hairiest knuckled thick necked palookas I had ever laid eyes on. They didn't seem none too friendly either. Nothing but scowls and not a "how do you do" from a one of ‘em.[/size][/color] [color=black][font=Times New Roman] [/font][size=3]Now, I'm the type of person who figures that I can beat anyone, anywhere, in a game of poker but even I’ll take any advantages where I can. Plan B with a twist or[i] Jonas Salk on gas[/i] as I like to call it. I approached the table with a limp while fumbling for my breath inhaler. Always play opposite the table. Truer words were never said.[/size][/color] [color=black][size=3][/size][/color] [color=black][size=3]I aint no geezer, but with 10 long years on the road I’ve begun lately wonderin’ why the hell I continue to put my 5' 8" 110 frame in that situation time and time again. Was it just to satisfy my obsession to leave every table with a pocket full a dough? Surely the half a mil in winnin’s I got stashed in a lockbox in my backyard by the elm tree was enough to make a clean break from this life. Or was it? Just one more big score and I could go back to Lori at the diner with my head held high. One more big pickup and I could get ‘er that rabbit skin coat she wants or take her on that trip to the Jersey shore like she’s always been harpin’ on me for. Maybe this would be the night. It’s always one last big score. It’s always THE night. . But who are you kiddin’ Eddie? It’s never the night.[/size][/color] [color=black] [size=3] I’m a quick read and somethin’ told me there was somethin’ different about this buncha goons. Even if the cards went my way the odds o’ me walkin’ outta this joint intact were not favorable. Walk away Eddie, Walk away! But it was too late. After all, I already sat down. I figured I better lose some cash and save my ass, if you know what I mean. I just couldn't bring myself to believe that these thugs were going to let me leave alive with any of their hard earned, or otherwise, cash.[/size][/color] [color=black][size=3][/size][/color] [color=black][size=3]I paid my $400 BB and decided to fold the first chance I got and beat feet or Sit and go, if you get the drift of my meanin’ and I breathed a sigh of relief when I was dealt 2-7 off suit. Under the gun called and I was surprised to see the rest of the table call around to the small blind who eagerly tossed in his ½ bet. This was gonna be harder than I thought. I Raised expectin’ at least one reraise, and a quick fold on my part followed by a gracious exit. 9 calls. WTF! Now I had determined that these guys were gamblers, not poker players. Were they going to pay to see the flop every time and hope for the best?[/size][/color] [color=black][size=3]The flop fell seven full-o-dueces. Under different conditions this would have been a wet dream now it was my worst nightmare. Don’t bet Eddie! Whatever you do, Don’t bet! The small blind checked, so did I, check, check. So now they’re tightwads? The action gets checked around to the button. Same thing on 4th street and again on 5th. Not even a lousy stab from the button. A 10 way showdown with my boat takin’ the $8,000 pot. Not exactly chump change. Avoiding eye contact, I gingerly pulled the chips towards me. I may have mumbled something about being sorry but the damage was done. I was stuck in this dive until these knuckleheads won their money back.[/size][/color] [color=black][size=3][/size][/color] [color=black][size=3]I payed my small blind and the cards were dealt. I look down and wouldn’t ya know it! Just my luck. American Airlines. My blood got flowing, my natural intincts kicked in and and before I knew it, I was tryin’ to figure out how to sucker these morons outta their last penny. As it turned out it wasn’t hard, even after 2 more aces flopped these bozo’s kept jamming the pot. This was gonna be a nice payday if I could just come up with a decent exit strategy. The turn was a rag and but I couldn’t have been more surprised if I had bit into a mayonnaise filled donut when another ace fell on the flop. Now math was never my strong suit, but with three aces on the board and two in the hole, even a washed up old rounder like me could see that the numbers just didn’t add up.[/size][/color] [color=black][size=3][/size][/color] [color=black][size=3]The first thing I ask is if there are any wild cards. A couple of evil chuckles and someone grumbled about me being a f*****g rookie before some gorilla with a mug like a catchers mitt that had been left out in the rain once too often finally bellowed that, “Of course, there aren't wild cards.” Please take into account what I consider the most important details in this hand. Ten players, nine angry cavemen with loaded guns within their reach. The pot was jammed and everyone was still in. I think this is what some would call a loose table. No one has smiled or quit staring at me since I got there, and most crucial of all, I'm first to act. Then reality set in. I was being set-up. If I flipped my rockets these neandertals could accuse me of cheating and beat me to a juicy pulp. If I laid ‘em down I’d loose the whole nights winnings and everything that I came with. [/size][/color] [color=black] [size=3] My face was red with fury, the sweat on my nose was causing my John Lennon glasses to slip down, and I had finally had enough. My recollection of what happened next is a little fuzzy. I hope that one detail will not keep you from being able to help me with my question. [/size][/color] [color=black][size=3][font=Times New Roman] Please help me and tell me how I might have played this hand better. Thanks.[/font][/size][/color] [color=black][size=3][/size][/color] [color=black][size=3][/size][/color] [i][size=3]Ahhh! Much better, or much worse depending on how you look at it. Anyhoo, turn this in on Friday and if your instructor has got a sense of humor, or if he plays poker, you might pull off a passing grade.[/size][/i] [size=3][/size] [/QUOTE]

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